Posted by
Playful Walrus on Monday, February 04, 2008 3:07:00 PM
Since I enjoy checking advice columns so I can respond to the letters and analyze the response by the columnist, perhaps I should have a frequent topic on this blog called “Dear Playful Walrus”, where I pretend the letter was written to me.
Anyway, here is stuff from
a recent Dear Abby column:AMBIVALENT IN YAPHANK, N.Y. writes:
I have been seeing "Dawn" for a year and a half. Early in our relationship she cheated on me.
What does this mean, exactly? Did both of you expressly agree to be monogamous? Even so, you are both fornicating. So it is okay to cheat on God and your future spouse (should you marry), but not okay for Dawn to fornicate with someone else? Why? At worst, she broke her agreement to be monogamous –
if she did agree to that in the first place.
This was “early on” in the relationship. Once you are willing to forsake the moral that sex is for marriage, then I don’t understand why people think there is a moral requirement for monogamy “early on”.
I love Dawn more than I have loved anyone before, but I can't bring myself to completely trust her.
Then don’t. Tell her as much. Both of you should either commit to saving any more sex for marriage, or start openly seeing other people.
She wants to move in with me now.
Shacking up is one of the worst things you can do. If you want to get married, it bodes ill for a lasting marriage. If you don’t want to get married and are just fine fornicating, you are limiting yourself and exposing yourself to all kinds of risks by shacking up.
HAD IT WITH THE SOUND TRACK writes:
I share space with a 22-year-old administrative assistant, and our office is flooded with music throughout the day. I realize that some people "need" noise, but I am not one of them. It's challenging to meet and advise students in this semi-private environment while music is blaring, and even daily tasks and phone calls are an issue. On occasion, the selections are inappropriate for the office.
She is a nice girl, but how do I approach her and/or my supervisor without sounding like a tattletale or a complainer?
Dear Abby responded:
If you haven't already done so, talk with the young woman and explain that while some people love music while they work, others are distracted by it and find it difficult to function, and you fall into that category. If she's unwilling to cooperate after that, then perhaps your supervisor can help her see the light.
If the letter writer is male, this answer is WRONG. He needs to go straight to the supervisor. Talking directly to the young woman could open the man to charges of harassment, especially if the young woman isn’t attracted to the man.
Anti-sexual harassment measures in the workplace are based on the sensitivities of women, overly sensitive ones at that, and designed to punish unattractive men. Usually, claims of harassment are investigated and processed by female-dominated human resources staff, sympathetic to the complaining woman. It sounds ridiculous, but this is how men can protect themselves. He should interact with her as little as possible.
The same issue of the column goes on to deal with a child who is acting out because his mother either didn’t choose wisely or didn’t treat kindly, per Dr. Laura, and thus is divorced from his father and out of the home working.